Rebecca A. Nagy Author
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The Power of the Word

The Divine Feminine Awakens: A Message from My Visionary Fiction Trilogy

5/6/2025

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In my years immersed in ancient wisdom traditions, one truth has stood out: the Divine Feminine is not a concept, but a living, sacred force—creative, nurturing, and endlessly transformative. She births worlds, carries souls through evolution, and holds the keys to a deeper understanding of who we are and why we’re here.
This force is the heart of my visionary fiction trilogy. Through the lens of storytelling, I’ve woven timeless spiritual teachings into a contemporary journey of awakening and transformation—one that invites readers not only to witness, but to remember.
The Priestess Lineage
Cassandra, also known as Ayesha across lifetimes, is my bridge to the ancient priestess traditions. These women were more than mystics—they were guardians of cosmic balance. From the mythic temples of Atlantis to today’s spiritual seekers, the lineage endures. Ayesha’s incarnational journey reflects the cyclical essence of feminine spirituality: descent, death, rebirth, and renewal.
Sacred Union and Twin Flames
At the core of the trilogy lies the sacred reunion of Manu and Cassandra—a representation of twin flames and the alchemical marriage. This is no ordinary romance. Their union symbolizes the merging of divine masculine and feminine energies to restore wholeness. It's a love story with planetary purpose, echoing the principle that true harmony is born when polarities unite.
The Dark’s Obsession with the Feminine
The Dark Lord’s fixation on Ayesha/Cassandra reveals a deeper spiritual truth: the creative power of the feminine has always been a target for those who seek domination. History has shown us how priestesses, witches, and wise women have been suppressed, hunted, and silenced. This dynamic in my narrative mirrors a long-standing fear of feminine sovereignty and its ability to create without control.
Ascension and Light Body Activation
As my characters awaken and activate their Light Bodies, they undergo initiations rooted in mystery school teachings. These transformations aren’t just fictional—they reflect the ancient belief that we can evolve beyond our current form, becoming vessels for higher consciousness. This path has always belonged to the Divine Feminine: she leads us not just to knowledge, but to embodiment.
The Avatar of Synthesis
Cassandra’s emergence as the “avatar of synthesis” fulfills prophecies from many traditions. Her role is not to conquer, but to harmonize—to weave together the fragmented strands of human and planetary consciousness. This is the Divine Feminine returning to center stage, not to replace the masculine, but to balance it.
My trilogy is a vessel. It entertains, yes—but more than that, it initiates. These are not just stories. They are transmissions—echoes of the mysteries that have endured through fire, shadow, and time. If you feel a stirring as you read, it’s because you’re remembering.
This is the call of the Divine Feminine. And she’s not just in the pages. She’s in you.
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The Return of Ancient Wisdom (and Why It Matters More Than Ever)

4/26/2025

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​In the 1970s, while at UNCC, (University of North Carolina, Charlotte) I stumbled across ideas that would change my life forever—karma and reincarnation.

Raised Catholic, these concepts were totally new to me. But they made deep, intuitive sense. They explained life’s patterns and hinted at a larger, more ordered spiritual journey. That moment launched me on a lifelong quest: to find THE TRUTH about who we are, why we’re here, and where we’re headed.

What Are the Ancient Wisdom Teachings?
As I dug deeper—studying the world's religions, both ancient and modern—I discovered a common thread: the Ancient Wisdom Teachings. At the heart of every major faith is a hidden, esoteric message (meaning inner or secret), in contrast to the exoteric (outer, public) teachings most people know. Jesus, for example, shared deeper mysteries with his disciples while speaking to the public in parables.

Unfortunately, over the centuries, organized religion focused heavily on exoteric dogma, leaving out the deeper spiritual practices that were meant to empower people to directly connect with the Divine.

The ancient mystery schools preserved these teachings—but often underground. With the rise of state-controlled religion, especially during the Inquisition, anything outside of "official" doctrine was attacked as dangerous or evil. Much of the original spiritual wisdom was buried under fear and manipulation.

Yet the Ancient Wisdom persists.

It offers a powerful, cosmic view of existence—including our origins from the stars—and it ties the mythologies of all religions into a unified, hopeful story of evolution and purpose.

How It All Connects to Today
We are living through another major shift: the transition from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius. According to the mystery traditions, when humanity is ready, new teachers and teachings always emerge to guide the next phase. And now, the mystery schools are coming back into the light, open to anyone seeking deeper answers.

Mystery traditions teach that the true connection with the Creator—the Source—is found through balanced inner work: meditation, spiritual study, and grounded practice. It's not about escaping the world. It's about mastering the art and science of true spirituality.

The great truth is this:
We are not separate from the Creator. We are Co-Creators.
One energy flows through everything and everyone.
I was guided by my own inner guides to make these profound teachings accessible, not just through classes and lectures, but through story. That's why I wrote Phoenix Rising Initiation and Phoenix Rising: Temptation—the first two novels in my sci-fi fantasy romance/Visionary Fiction series.

Through inspiring adventures and deeply personal character journeys, these books bring the Ancient Wisdom Teachings to life. They offer readers a way to experience the hero’s journey firsthand—to explore their own self-discovery, spiritual awakening, and connection to the greater cosmic whole, all while immersed in a page-turning story.

In a world that feels increasingly chaotic, remembering our deeper journey matters more than ever.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
​

Are you ready?

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The Hidden Mysteries of Spring Equinox: A Time of Perfect Balance

3/14/2025

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As the world tilts neither toward nor away from the sun on March 20th, we experience one of the year's most powerful energetic gateways—the Spring Equinox. This moment of perfect equilibrium between day and night holds profound esoteric significance across ancient traditions and spiritual practices.The Sacred BalanceThe equinox represents the ultimate harmony between opposing forces: light and dark, masculine and feminine, action and receptivity. In esoteric traditions, this balance point creates a unique opening in the veil between worlds, making it an exceptionally potent time for meditation, manifestation, and spiritual work. The ancients understood that equilibrium generates power—when forces are perfectly balanced, even the gentlest intention can tip the scales.
Rebirth and RenewalEsoterically, the Spring Equinox symbolizes resurrection and the triumph of life over death. This theme appears across diverse traditions: in Egyptian mythology with the resurrection of Osiris, in Persian traditions with Nowruz celebrating the rebirth of the world, and in Celtic practices honoring the goddess Ostara's fertility and renewal energies. The equinox reminds us that after every period of darkness, light inevitably returns.
Alchemical TransformationAlchemists viewed the equinox as a crucial moment in the spiritual transmutation process. The equal balance of opposing energies creates the perfect conditions for transformation—turning the lead of winter's introspection into the gold of spring's creative expression. This is why intention-setting during the equinox carries particular potency.
Harnessing Equinox EnergiesTo work with these powerful energies, consider:
  • Creating balance rituals involving equal parts of opposing elements (fire and water, earth and air)
  • Setting intentions that bring harmony to disparate aspects of your life
  • Meditating at dawn or sunset when the transition between light and dark is most palpable
  • Performing egg rituals—the ancient symbol of potential and new life
The Spring Equinox invites us to find our center point amidst life's constant fluctuations. By acknowledging this cosmic moment of balance, we align ourselves with the universe's natural rhythm of renewal and transformation. As you witness this celestial turning point, remember that you too contain the perfect balance of light and shadow, strength and surrender, ending and beginning—all the necessary elements for your own magnificent becoming.
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Mercury Retrograde: Unveiling the Esoteric Influences of This Celestial Phenomenon

3/14/2025

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Mercury retrograde, a time when the planet appears to move backward in its orbit from our earthly perspective, has long fascinated astrologers and spiritual practitioners. During this astronomical event, which occurs approximately three to four times annually, many believe subtle yet powerful energetic shifts take place that influence our daily lives in numerous ways.
Understanding the Celestial MechanicsMercury retrograde is not actually a reversal of planetary motion but rather an optical illusion caused by differences in orbital speeds. As Earth overtakes Mercury in its journey around the sun, Mercury appears to slow down, stop, and move backward from our vantage point. This apparent retrograde motion typically lasts for about three weeks.
Current Mercury Retrograde: March 14 to April 7, 2025
The current Mercury retrograde began on March 14, 2025, in the water sign of Pisces and will continue until April 7, 2025. This period is characterized by particularly heightened intuitive and emotional sensitivity due to Pisces' dreamy and spiritual influence, adding an extra layer of mysticism to this retrograde cycle.
Communication and Technology DisruptionsIn astrological tradition, Mercury governs communication, technology, travel, and intellectual activities. During retrograde periods, these domains often experience disruptions or require more attention than usual. Many practitioners suggest avoiding signing contracts, making major purchases (especially electronic devices), or initiating new projects during this time.
As we move through March 14 to April 7, 2025, be especially vigilant with electronic communications, as Pisces' water energy can amplify confusion in digital realms.
The Deeper Esoteric SignificanceBeyond the practical challenges, Mercury retrograde carries profound esoteric meaning. This period invites us to turn inward, revisit past situations, and reconsider decisions. The prefix "re-" becomes a guiding principle: review, reassess, revise, reconnect.
Current Retrograde InfluencesThe present Mercury retrograde (March 14 to April 7, 2025) brings particularly strong influences to:
  1. Inner Reflection: This Pisces-influenced retrograde especially encourages deep introspection and reconnection with neglected aspects of yourself.
  2. Past Relationships: Between March 14 to April 7, expect encounters with people from your past or unresolved relationship dynamics resurfacing for healing.
  3. Information Review: Previously overlooked details or information may emerge during these three weeks, offering new perspectives on old situations.
  4. Spiritual Insights: The veil between conscious and subconscious realms thins during this time, potentially bringing profound intuitive messages, especially as Mercury traverses the mystical waters of Pisces.
Navigating the Retrograde PeriodRather than fearing Mercury retrograde, consider embracing its energy as an opportunity for growth:
  • Practice patience and double-check communications before sending through April 7
  • Allow extra time for travel and appointments, particularly during the mid-retrograde period (March 21-28)
  • Back up important digital information before March 14 and maintain vigilance until April 7
  • Revisit abandoned creative projects or ideas during this three-week window
  • Engage in meditation and reflective practices, which are especially potent during this Pisces-influenced retrograde
ConclusionWhile skeptics dismiss astrological phenomena, many find value in the contemplative rhythm these celestial cycles provide. Whether viewed as energetic influence or symbolic framework, Mercury retrograde offers a valuable reminder to slow down in our fast-paced world, revisit what matters, and realign with our authentic path.
As we move through this retrograde period from March 14 to April 7, 2025, consider what aspects of your life might benefit from review and renewal. The challenges of this time may ultimately reveal themselves as disguised opportunities for profound transformation.
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The Metaphysics of Winter:Light and Darkness in Sacred Time

12/3/2024

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At the heart of winter lies a profound metaphysical moment - the solstice, a cosmic still point where darkness reaches its zenith yet simultaneously cradles light's rebirth. This paradox mirrors deep truths about consciousness, transformation, and the dance between opposites that shapes our existence.

Ancient cultures recognized this pivot point through ritual.
  • Norse peoples lit the Yule log to sustain light through darkness.
  • Chinese families gathered for Dongzhi Festival, celebrating yin-yang balance with round dumplings symbolizing wholeness.
  • Celtic Druids witnessed solstice sun illuminating Newgrange's inner chamber, 
  • Persian Yalda Night sustained community through darkness with stories and symbolic red fruits.
  • Hopi ceremonies called the retreating sun back through sacred dance.

Light itself carries deep metaphysical significance across traditions, echoing Plato's vision of enlightenment emerging from shadows.
  • Hanukkah's enduring flame represents divine light persisting against material limits.
  • Christmas lights evolved from Saturnalia's candles to symbolize spiritual illumination breaking through darkness.
  • Diwali's rows of diyas trace wisdom's victory over ignorance, matching the Platonic journey from cave shadows to true knowledge.
These traditions share a recognition that physical light manifests spiritual awakening.
     The solstice pause invites us to witness how endings contain beginnings, how stillness enables transformation, and how darkness nurtures light's return. In this sacred season, we participate in an ancient dance of consciousness - holding multiple realities in tension, maintaining cosmic order through ritual, and trusting in renewal even at winter's depth.

Like T.S. Eliot's "Still Point of the Turning World," this season offers a space between experiences where we can contemplate the eternal cycles of decline and rebirth, illumination and mystery, that give meaning to human existence.
​

As you move through December, take time to reflect on the love and light within your own life. The Winter Solstice time period is a powerful reminder that both light and dark have their place, and by embracing both, we can achieve greater harmony and insight on our spiritual journey.
Rebecca
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March 30th, 2024

3/30/2024

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The Metaphysical Essence of Easter

Central to the metaphysical interpretation of Easter is the symbolism of death and resurrection. This cycle is not merely a historical or religious recounting but serves as a potent metaphor for the spiritual journey each individual is called to undertake. The death experienced is not physical but rather a death of the old self—the ego-bound identity, limited beliefs, and the illusion of separation from the Divine. The resurrection symbolizes the rebirth into a higher state of consciousness, characterized by an awakened sense of unity, unconditional love, and a deep, abiding peace that transcends worldly concerns.
     The Easter egg, a symbol synonymous with this season, holds esoteric significance beyond its cultural and decorative appeal. It represents the mysteries of life, rebirth, and the latent potential within all beings, waiting to be actualized. The egg's hard, outer shell symbolizes the limitations and barriers we erect around our true selves. The act of breaking open the egg mirrors the spiritual process of breaking free from personal constraints and limitations, allowing the essence of our true, divine nature to emerge.
     Moreover, the timing of Easter, closely aligned with the vernal equinox, adds another layer of metaphysical significance. This period marks a time of balance between day and night, symbolizing harmony and the renewal of life on Earth. Esoterically, it is considered a time when the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds thins, offering a unique opportunity for deeper spiritual insights, growth, and connection with the divine.
Esoteric Christianity and the Inner Journey of Easter
Esoteric Christianity views Easter not just as a commemoration of Jesus Christ's resurrection but as a symbolic journey of the inner Christ present within each individual. This inner Christ is understood as the divine spark or essence inherent in every person, which undergoes its own journey of crucifixion (death to the ego), burial (surrender and purification), and resurrection (enlightenment and rebirth).
     The Mystery of Golgotha, the site of Jesus' crucifixion, holds deep esoteric significance. It is seen as more than a mere historical event; it represents a cosmic sacrifice that facilitated a monumental shift in the spiritual evolution of humanity. This event is believed to have anchored the Christ consciousness—a state of unconditional love, wisdom, and unity—into the Earth's energetic field, offering all beings a pathway to spiritual awakening and enlightenment.
Personal Transformation and Collective Awakening
Easter's profound themes of death, resurrection, and renewal serve as powerful metaphors for personal spiritual transformation. This sacred season invites individuals to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, encouraging introspection, the release of limiting beliefs and patterns, and the embrace of a new, spiritually awakened identity. This process is not without its challenges; it requires one to confront and integrate one's shadow aspects, but it ultimately leads to a rebirth characterized by greater clarity, purpose, and a deeper connection with the divine.
     On a collective level, Easter symbolizes the potential for humanity's spiritual awakening. It highlights the interconnectedness of all life and the possibility of transcending our perceived limitations and divisions to achieve a state of global consciousness marked by peace, harmony, and compassion. This collective awakening is essential for addressing the myriad challenges facing humanity, from social injustice to environmental degradation, urging us towards a more compassionate, understanding, and unified world.
The Path Forward: Embracing Easter's Spiritual Promise
The metaphysical and esoteric insights into Easter's significance offer a transformative perspective that transcends religious dogma, inviting all, regardless of faith or belief, to explore the depths of their spiritual journey. As we contemplate the mysteries of Easter, we are called to reflect on our personal paths of awakening, challenge our limitations, and embrace the potential for rebirth and renewal inherent in each of us.
     This period of reflection and renewal is also a time for action, inspiring us to live out the principles of love, compassion, and unity in our daily lives. By embodying these qualities, we contribute to the collective awakening and healing of our world, aligning with the spiritual promise of Easter and moving closer to realizing our highest potential as spiritual beings.
In Conclusion
Easter, with its rich tapestry of metaphysical and esoteric symbolism, offers profound insights into the spiritual journey of awakening, rebirth, and enlightenment. By exploring Easter's deeper spiritual meanings, we not only gain a greater appreciation for this sacred season but also uncover the universal principles it embodies. This exploration invites us on a path of profound personal transformation and collective awakening, reminding us of the indomitable spirit of renewal that lies at the heart of the Easter message.
     As we celebrate Easter, let us embrace its spiritual promise, allowing it to guide us toward inner transformation, enlightenment, and the realization of our divine nature. In doing so, we honor the true essence of Easter, celebrating not only the resurrection of Christ but also the potential for the resurrection of the divine within us all, heralding a future of peace, unity, and spiritual fulfillment for humanity.

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March 30th, 2024

3/30/2024

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March 30th, 2024

3/30/2024

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If The Shoe Fits

11/6/2023

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This is a chapter from my unfinished memoire. I was about half way through the first draft when I came up with the idea to turn my spiritual journey into a Visionary Fiction novel. But I thought this would be a fun read for you!

 If the Shoe Fits I love shoes! I love the smell of leather, the feel of it under my fingers – the way it can catch the light when it has been tanned to a high gloss -- I was thinking about this as I was standing in my walk-in closet, looking up at the rows of shoes that filled the right hand side of the built in shelves – rows and rows heels of varying shapes and heights – colors and materials. Some – the REALLY special ones, were still lovingly wrapped in their original tissue paper, protected in their brightly-colored boxes from their country of origin.

Shoes I had purchased from all over the world – in small boutiques on the Rive Gauche or The Ponte Vecchio or Via Veneto. In the large department or specialty stores like Harrods of London or Bon Marche in Paris and Macy’s New York.

Each one from a trip that I had taken representing various steps along the path of my fashion career from fashion assistant to one of the top textile designers in NYC, to fashion coordinator at Lord and Taylor New York to becoming a Fashion Designer and on to becoming a Fashion Director in my own right, attending the Fashion shows in all the fashion capitals of the world and hobnobbing with Fashionistas from Gerri (Stutz) from Bendels, Kal Ruttenstein from Bloomies, and Diana Vreeland from Vogue to Donatella and bro Gianni (now, there was an interesting sister/brother act!), Roberto Gucci et al and brief shoulder brushes with VALENTINO and GEORGIO! Whoo Hoo!

I looked up at the black stilettos from that trip – I had only worn those shoes once – the day I bought them. They were much too uncomfortable to wear except to sitting at dinner at Harry’s Bar. But they were gorgeous! I took them out of now-yellowed tissue, the smell of the leather still new even almost 20 years later. Thump – into the box...

The phone had rung early that morning of May 18, 1998. It was Sherry, from an executive search firm that I had been working with looking for positions as either a Fashion Director or merchandiser for the past three weeks, since my exit as DMM in product development from a local family-owned department store.

It had been the proverbial job from hell, or shall I say, I had had the boss from hell. But that could be a book in and of itself: “ Jobs from Hell and Bosses from Hades” – I’ll bet you could be my co author!

So there was Sherry, calling me at the crack of dawn, all excited. “Rebecca, you’ll never believe, finally, Target is looking for a TREND MANAGER!!!”

Long silence. 

“Are you there!?”

“Ya, I said, “Gimme a minute, I’m trying to let it sink in...”

She must have thought I was in stunned excitement. But I was actually in stunned dismay. For years I had been lusting after that job. Ever since I had decided to leave Kmart Corp, where I had designed Jaclyn Smith, Kathy Ireland and various other private labels in their ready-to-wear and accessory divisions, I had wanted THAT job at Target. But it had not been vacant in these past five years or so. And now, NOW, when I had finally made the decision NOT to go back to the fashion business, but to go out on my own and completely change direction with my life – NOW they call.

“Sherry – I need to get back to you – I’m actually in the middle of something and can’t really talk right now.”

 “Ah – well...OK, but they have your resume and they REALLY want you to come for an interview right away!”

 “Great, I’ll call you back before the day is over – thanks!”

I hung up the phone, and looked up at the shelf of shoes again, put down the box I had been clutching in my hand, went into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee and went out on my deck.

I stared at the wooded landscape – God how I loved this house! The sun was just peeking over the top of the trees, the morning mist having melted away from the hidden lake behind the emerald green leaves. I breathed in the smells of pine and freshly mowed grass, my sense of ownership welling up in my chest - this was mine – my first house, and I had bought it all by myself.

I was heading towards my 45 birthday in July, and I was faced with the biggest decision of my life. I was single, never married, had just been forced to walk out of a job or loose my health and my mind. Just a few weeks prior to that I had found out that the back surgery I had had the August before had indeed caused permanent damage to my leg/ankle/foot that would greatly inhibit my ability to go gallivanting all over the world in search of that next, great fashion trend.

To complicate matters, I had also been ordained as a non denominational minister in May of that year, finally wrapping up 6 long years of study during my recuperation from that spinal fusion.. And now, this very morning , I had decided that I would leave the fashion industry behind me for good - and begin a ministry by way of becoming a speaker and start to teach some classes. And then the phone call, with my “dream job” no less! I let out a big sigh: “Well, I’m in the South, so I’m gonna play Scarlett O’Hara for a day, and think about it tomorrow!”

So I stomped back to my closet in defiance against no one in particular (or maybe it was God) and continued to clean out the shoes. After all, that was not going to change. I still couldn’t wear them!

Next in line were the electric blue patent leather flats I had purchased in 1986, from that funky shop off Kings Rd. in London, as a fledging Fashion Director for Sanger Harris in Dallas, Texas. Running my finger around the bright yellow piping, I cringed at the memory of the equally bright “bumble bee yellow” tights I had found to match them in a favorite hosiery shop that all of us Fashionistas would frequent on our quarterly trips to Milan - what was it’s name?? That was my second trip to Europe. Now that was a trip for the history books!

After our first round of AMC meetings in Florence, several of us from the store, the GMM, DMMs and buyers - all went out to one of those cute little outdoor cafes for cappuccino to talk about what we had just seen and how we would buy the lines later in the week. I was acting all sophisticated.

I mean , really,  I had been here before, and they were looking to me for my expertise as the fashion maven. Just as I was beginning to wax profound, lifting the frothing cup of java to my lips, a local pigeon flying overhead - thwap! - relieved itself of its last meal into my beverage!

Amid the stunned silence, the warm, gooey, brown liquid splashed into my eyes and quickly oozed all over my still-to-be-paid-for designer suit, stopping me in mid sentence. Then a few smirks from my “nemesis” fellow fashion director, a few guffaws from the men in the group, and a red-faced groan from me as I sprang up. Fortunately one of the DMMs, Linda S. was a bit more compassionate, and she went with me back to the hotel to change.

This was one of those defining moments of my career, as I started to learn:
 #1 don’t take yourself so seriously,
 #2 learn who your friends are,
 #3 understand that your friends aren’t going necessarily going to be your friends once you loose or change jobs and
 #4 always look UP for guidance before opening your mouth!

 Then my hand reached up for the brown stacked heels that I had coveted from that chic boutique around the corner from the Duomo in Milan during my first trip to the Mipel leather show, where I had run into Joan Halpern of Joan and David. We had subsequently developed a fast friendship over the years as we continued to share our views on the psychology of color and trends in leather and accessories. Joan was one of those wonderful women who could be very generous when she took a liking to you (which was the only reason those shoes were in my closet) and I remember her fondly.

I wish I had kept in touch with her, along with another woman, Cecilia Castoldi, who lived in Florence.

There again was another generous human being. I thought of her too, as my eyes roamed over to the collection of Gucci that lined another row of my closet – but these were handbags and totes, so they were safe from the carnivorous box.

 I was still the accessory fashion coordinator at Sanger Harris then. I hadn’t yet been promoted to Corporate Fashion Directo, over the “nemesis” director, LK, who was the RTW fashion coordinator (Ready To Wear) when I had arrived at Sanger Harris, so excited to be back on home turf in Dallas. One of my shoe vendors had given me Cecilia’s name, as she sat on the International Color Counsel and Marvin thought she would be a great resource for me.

We were sitting in her husband’s ancestral home in Florence one evening on one of my trips, chatting away, exchanging ideas.

I loved these evenings with Cecilia, she always made me feel so wise and knowledgeable. She had this theory about how the Americans invented sportswear – but the Italians made it chic. I went on to add that the Parisians dictated Fashion – but we made it saleable! We were laughing about this, when all of a sudden the big hallway clock started chiming, startling us both. “Oh my God”, Cecilia exclaimed, “I’m going to be late for dinner!”

Then she turned to me – “Why don’t you come with me – I’m sure there’s plenty of room at the table – it’s the fashion show of my daughter’s boyfriend’s father.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t – I’m not dressed” I protested.

Those were the days of utilitarian jumpsuits. I was wearing a grey “distressed” jumpsuit with burnt orange leather patches I had just purchased in Milan with a matching pair of boots I had, amazingly, found in London.

“You look FABulous, don’t worry –they will love it. It is a perfect look. After all – you are an American, it is sportswear – and you do it so well!” We threw our heads back and laughed again at how clever we were. So I agreed to go to her friend’s show for dinner. It didn’t even cross my mind to ask who her friend was. I figured they were a “local”, perhaps second tier designer, since she hadn’t mentioned any names.

It turned out to be at one of those palatial Florence homes, very old, that had been turned into a restaurant that the Fashion Crowd loved to use for these special showings. As we got out of the car, amid the flashing paparazzi cameras, I looked up at the banners waving over the entrance: “Gucci”. I gulped - Yup – her daughter was dating a Gucci. And not just any Gucci, but Roberto, no less – the secondo head of the clan, next to his nephew, Maurizio.

So there I was, sitting with the Gucci’s at their table, watching their show, smiling and nodding, trying to act chic and wiser than my 34 yrs, surrounded by the glitterati of Italy’s Fashion Business – what a TRIP!

Ya – I should have stayed in touch with Cecilia.

But life happens and the fashion business moves quickly. And that was before the internet, and I was never very good at writing those little follow up notes. But more importantly, my life just moved so very fast in those days – did I just say in those day?! My life always seems to move fast. It’s because I am always restless. I never seem to be satisfied with where I am, who I am or what I’m doing.

Have you ever had those times in your life?

And back in those days, I always seemed to change jobs either by choice - or not - VERY quickly.

The other reasons were my very inability to stay focused, which were a totally different dynamic from the restlessness.

One dynamic seemed to be from my soul – the other from my brain function. At the time I didn’t know about my learning disability. (ADHD was not in common usage then). I just knew that I was a “sensitive” or shall I say “intuitive” along with hoping from one thing to another. I always seemed to have this sixth sense about what was going to be “in” because of my ability to tune into the pulse of the psyche of the customer. It was a “gut feeling”, I would demur – not telling anyone at the time this 6th sense I had always had from the time I was a child, when I could sense this whole invisible realm around me - see things and feel things that the grown ups couldn’t quite seem to grasp.

A gift and a curse Carol Parrish had told me when I had later entered Seminary in 1986.

Oh well, I thought, as I picked up the brown Joan & David pumps, back to the task at hand. My hands caressed the smooth, gleaming leather: I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift back to those trips in the early days of my fashion career - I could smell the fall air as I walked out of the Hotel Regina across to the courtyard of the Louvré in Paris – where some the fashion shows would be held beneath tents. The smells of the street vendors and perfumes all mingled together with sweat as the lines of paparazzi strained against the barriers. The fashion editors, buyers and fashion directors, I among them, would be herded into the reserved seats, each of us clutching our tickets as the gold they were. 

All the scenes of my fashion career, the faces, the places – flashed before my eyes like those of a drowning man about die – for in way, I was. I was about to die. Die to the life I had known for most of my adult life; a life that those rows and rows of shoes represented to me – each one a piece of my fashion career at a different level of its growth and development. A career that was about to end. A career that no longer fit. Just as those shoes could no longer fit the feet that used to wear them.

At least – not the left foot. For the left foot – from the toes all the way up to the knee – no longer functioned – could no longer even hold one of those shoes on. I certainly could not wear a high heel without having the ankle turn under and snap like a twig – for there was no muscle left on the bone – it had all atrophied. I vacillated between anger, ambivalence, despair, and hope during those moments standing in my closet - truly the moment of truth. The truth was – I had a decision to make. Just as those shoes no longer fit – neither did my former life in the fashion business. That dream was gone. But -- It had been realized to some extent– lived and fulfilled. Now another one was about to begin.

So buck up Missy, the little voice in my head said, let’s get on with it… My heart was beating and my breath was shallow.

All of a sudden I knew what I had to say to Sherry, what I had to do.

And it scared the hell out of me. But it excited me as well. The speech began to form in my head, ready with an explanation of why, after haunting this executive search firm for years about this position – my “dream job” – why, when it was finally available and mine for the taking—I was about to not only turn it down – but walk away from the industry forever...

It had begun 13 months earlier with round two of spinal surgery in an attempt to get out of mind-numbing pain from 4 ruptured discs that kept rupturing due to degenerative disc disease. This time the damage was so extensive that I had lost most of the use of the lower part of the left side of my body from the waist down. The surgery was really in an attempt to relieve the pain – the ability to use my leg again was in considerable doubt, which was confirmed after the spinal fusion was performed in August of ’96, as the nerve damage to the peroneal nerve was extensive. It caused my left foot to hang down and drag, and none of my toes functioned, especially my big toe.

BUT - If I had taken my doctors reality for my own – I might have been in a wheel chair today – and not writing this book about how I rebuilt my body, my life, my career and challenging myself to be more than I was in this moment.

I might not have picked up that phone on May 18, 1998 and said, “Hi Sherry, thanks so much for all the time and effort you put into getting me that job offer at XYZ. But I’ve decided that I am going to listen to my Soul’s call and go out to change the world by telling everyone that they are not human beings with a soul – but are really soul’s having a human experience. Oh yes – and did I tell you that I just graduated from seminary last year? And I have decided that the world is in need of being uplifted in the corporate arena, and I want to teach spiritual principles and values in the global marketplace, so that I can uplift the vibratory frequency of the planet so that it too can make it’s sacred initiation. And most of all, I want to be able to change the world – one thought and one heart at a time by teaching everyone how to meditate!

Now, Sherry will tell you, what SHE heard was, “Hi Sherry, this is Rebecca Nagy, and I want to thank you so much for taking all the time and effort in getting me that job offer from Target. But I’ve decided to start my own consulting company and do training seminars in work/life balance and stress management. Would love to know of any HR people you might know of who might be interested in this type of program! Let’s keep in touch, and maybe we can collaborate on a project from time to time.

But I knew in my heart, as I looked down at my left leg, as the still small voice whispered, as though in a dream…whispered by my Soul… the words I needed to pay attention to. I knew in my heart that as I looked down at my left foot – encased in the marvelous modern plastic invention called an AFO. The leg brace was really a magical trellis that allowed me to stand straight and tall – helping me stabilize as I began my new growth into my new life as a speaker and teacher. Helping me to stand on my own and realize a new dream – my soul’s dream. The dream of helping others realize that we are more than we ever thought we could be – we are more than our physical selves.

Teilard de Chardin, the French mystic and philosopher put said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” And perhaps my favorite: to paraphrase another great mind – the problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness that created them. Einstein knew that we needed to begin to think in new ways.

I like to think it’s not about thinking outside of the box – it’s about not even recognizing that there is a box – that there is in fact an unlimited universe that goes way beyond anything we can possibly imagine – and we need to think and dream BIG not small…and reach high not low – and beyond what we think we can do – and, well - just – DO it...

So I went back to my closet, took the box that was on the floor beside me, and stepped back up onto the step stool, being careful to hold onto the sides of the shelving of the closet for balance, and with one fell swoop – thwap! – scooped the first row of shoes into the box…continuing to let go of the past as each shoe dropped into the box.

Thump…thumm….pp…. one by one…shelf by shelf…

Then, finally, there went the Ferragamos that I had gotten on sale all those many years ago in the late 70’s. My first job – as the assistant to the late, great Billie Gordon, one of the most famous Textile stylists in NYC.

 And I smiled as I remembered that MY devil had worn Ferragamo...
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    Author

    From the runways of Europe to supernatural realms beyond the veil, Rebecca Nagy’s life has been anything but ordinary.

    ​A transformative mystical experience in Paris catalyzed her evolution from fashionista to spiritual teacher in 1997. Today, Rebecca crafts enthralling fiction based on real-life experiences that explore the esoteric teachings of East and West.

    She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina with her magical feline Gabriel, officiating weddings and hanging out with her spiritual family. 

    ​Immerse yourself in Rebecca's narrative universe, an exhilarating cosmos where curiosity and enlightenment converge, beckoning you to delve into both the daring and the divine.

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